Americaland

We flew from Dubai on the massive A380 Airbus, which is an impressive plane. JFK is a really big airport. After the plane landed, it taxied for about 4 kms to the parking. My aunt fetched us and we got stuck in rush hour traffic on the way to Scarsdale. The tight lanes and the big cars are quite terrifying at high speeds. My aunt’s neighbourhood is very pretty with lots of little windy roads and picturesque properties with fenceless borders and inter-leading lawns. None of the tress have any leaves, which is understandable because it’s minus 3 degrees. And that’s Celsius because it’s what the rest of the modern world uses. Also, this is how you spell colour.    

It’s a short walk to the train station the salt scattered pavements and the train goes all the way into Grand Central Station, well, they all seem to. The main concourse within the terminal is a sight to behold. The high astronomically decorated ceiling and the masses of ornate marble makes one think they have gone back in time. One could picture hundreds of men on dark coats and bowler hats scurrying around. Then something happened that brought me right back to the present. A man with a small speaker system began to belt out a catchy tune and one person began to dance, then another, and another, until there were about 30 people all dancing in time. A flash mob.

The main concourse at Grand Central Terminal

New York is an extremely busy place. There are super wide pavements to accommodate the masses of hustle and bustle. It soon becomes obvious why this city is referred to as a melting pot of cultures. You can hear several different languages just by walking a few blocks.

Just off 5th Avenue, the Empire State Building looms large on the city skyline. Despite its size, I find the most impressive thing about it is its age. It was finished in 1931, and yet it still remains one of the world’s tallest buildings. On the way up the Empire, through the long queue’s,  you can see indications of its age such as the old mailing chutes that run almost the length of the building and the airship terminal on the 102^nd floor. The view from the top is impressive, spanning over and beyond the 5 boroughs of New York City.

Central Park is yet another beautiful area. It is the oldest and largest landscaped area in the US. There were plenty of people running and some cyclists that looked as if they were doing the Tour de Central. We walked the length of the park, all the way to snazzy 5^th Avenue. Come Christmas time, all the expensive shops along this road are fantastically decorated. My favourite was the Hollister store, where the entrance consists of 50 or so big screens that combine to broadcast the break at a popular surf spot in California over 3500km away. I watched in amazement as the 10 ft high surfer caught a barrel. Awesome.

The Intrepid Sea-Air-Space Museum provides an impressive but slightly dated look into America’s military muscle. The USS Intrepid, a World War Two aircraft carrier, is the centre of the attractions. Docked just next to it in the bay, is a Cold War submarine named the USS Growler. Additionally, there are many machines on display in the hanger of the carrier, as well as on her deck. The sexiest of which is the A-12 Blackbird. This model on display, while practically identical, preceded the famous SR-71 Blackbird. But in its own way, the A-12 is a little more hardcore than the SR-71. Firstly, it could climb higher and fly faster than the record setting SR-71. Secondly, only top gun CIA test pilots have ever flown in them, whereas the SR-71 has had senators as passengers. They were also kept a secret for a longer period of time, and ‘no-one knows anything’ about the two crashes that took place during test flights. Nevertheless, they are both incredible machines and a tribute to man’s creative potential.

The deck of the USS Intrepid

I was looking forward to seeing the Pentagon. It’s an iconic American building and the scene of countless action films. But alas, photography prohibited. Added to that, any tours have to be confirmed 2 weeks in advance online. So, err, we walked around and past many men in uniform along the way. There were also these devices that could only be described as a metal octopus on a skewer. Apparently, it measures the acoustics of the shot and somehow, through flippen sheer electrical engineering brilliance, calculates where the shot came from. An anti-sniper machine. And I’m not sure how long afterwards the special forces get to that location, but I’m sure its seconds. 

From the immense pile of concrete that is the Pentagon, it is one short subway stop away from the famous Arlington cemetery where over 320 000 servicemen and women have been laid to rest.  All the short white gravestones have been placed in a grid pattern so that no matter which angle one looks at them, they are always in line. Despite all the dead people, it really is a beautiful place with hills, dales and great pieces of architecture. One such piece is the over 200 year old Arlington House perched on the highest point of the area. Its massive marble pillars on its porch are quite a sight.

Arlington Cemetary

It seems Washington DC is all about policemen, squirrels, museums, low flying helicopters and Corvette ZR-1’s. (The only supercar I saw in DC was the ZR-1, and I saw three different one’s in two days. This fact is only made more weird by me only seeing one supercar in 8 days of walking around New York. It was an Aston Martin DBS, and it had the most beautiful soundtrack.)  Nevertheless, the absolute best place to visit, excuse my masculine bias, is the National Air and Space Museum. From the moment you walk through the doors and see some nuclear rockets, a jet that went over 6200kph and a couple Apollo lunar modules, a NASA engineered solid substance that is 99% air and piece of the moon that’s over 4 billion years old. That you can touch. I touched the moon. Rad. And that’s just the entrance hall. There is a model of practically everything that flies or, on occasion, didn’t fly too well. The U2 bomber exhibition is also really great as it includes many stories of early espionage during the Cold War.

New Years Eve was spent in a place halfway between Trenton (where according to an enormous neon sign: ‘Trenton makes, the world takes’) and Princeton. Well to be fair, this place has a name, Lawrenceville: Where nature smiles at you for 22 square miles. That is what the welcoming signpost said. The people we stayed were really nice; they even bought us Christmas presents. I got a Princeton hoodie. We visited the Princeton Campus the next day, me donning my new hoodie and trying to impersonate a Social Science undergrad, and it’s a very pretty place with a lot of history.

Princeton University

On the way back to New York from Lawrenceville, we stopped at Philadelphia. This is where, in terms of US history, many important events happened. It gave birth to the American Revolution, was home to Benjamin Franklin and served as the US capital while Washington DC was under construction. It is also home to an iconic symbol of American independence, the Liberty Bell. After spending the day learning all there is to know about American history, I was feeling unhealthily patriotic to this country that has such poor foreign policy.

The NYC subway is a vast and confusing creature. There are many different colour lines intersecting and changing direction. But we got to experience one of the best things about it: the subway musicians. Two Rasta looking guys boarded the train with a guitar, bongo drums and a chair. They introduced themselves and asked everyone for a little soul. One of them sat down and started belting on the drums just as the other began twanging his guitar and they did a fantastic rendition of Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds (every little thing is gonna be alright). People were cheering and singing along. Afterwards, they took off their hats and only asked for ‘a smile, a peace sign or some change’ which was really great.

It was now time for our Florida leg of the journey. Four action packed days in Orlando including Universal Studios, Disneyland and Cape Canaveral. Driving from the airport, it becomes fairly obvious what one of the main attractions of the Sunshine State is: hotels. Hundreds of them. Big ones too. On that subject our hotel, the Peabody, was really great and has a tv in the mirror in the bathroom. In the fricken mirror!

The first day was consumed in its entirety by Universal Studios. Now I must explain that I developed a somewhat indifferent attitude toward theme parks because of the complicated system of purchasing a ticket and the cost attached to it. Nevertheless, I was pretty much blown away by their two theme parks. They really are great fun, even for the older people. One of the many highlights was the crazy-ass colourful world of Dr Seuss. Everything from the never-ending loopy music to the random green eggs and ham quotes in big neon signs.

Harry Potter’s Hogsmead themed town complete with the giant Hogwarts replica was also quite fun, despite my hate for boy magicians. We even had some butter beer, which is apparently something they drink in the film, and it was scarily delicious. The comic section with all the superhero’s was also excellent, though the only two eye saw was Spiderman (which was add because I saw him in Times Square a week ago, so he must have been on the same flight as us) and Captain America. I got a great picture with him and I mentioned that he’d actually been killed off in the Marvel Comic series (he was shot in the neck outside a court house, pretty ignominious) to which he replied, ‘Well, I’m back!’

There were two great roller-coasters at the parks, the most intense of which was named the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit. Here, you got to choose a soundtrack to head-bop to while experiencing your intense g-force ride. I found Limp Bizkit’s Rollin’ and attempted to head bang my way around. The Simpsons themed ride was also great. You sat on one of those moving cars in front of the most enormous concave screen on which was projected the crazy Krusty roller coaster ride that defied the laws of physics, but I guess that’s the point.

That night was taken up by attending the stupendous Blue Man Group. Three blue men in black suites, lots of bright paint, cereal, toilet paper and drumming. They are quite hard to put pin down, but I reckon you would have to describe them as performance art, but really on the edge of that definition. At any rate, it was huge fun and I give them and their creator massive kudos. 

The following day was spent at the vast Kennedy Space Centre near Cape Canaveral. We visited the observation deck where you can see the two main launch pads and the massive track that the crawler (the giant vehicle which carries the shuttle) drives along. The massive Saturn V rocket is kept lying on its side and separated into its stages in a big warehouse. Interesting as the rocket was, it was kind of sad to see one of the most powerful machines mankind has ever put together like that. The shuttle launch simulator was a great experience too, as was the Rocket Garden where all the rockets through the ages stand proudly in the sun.

The massive Vehical Assembly Building. Volume wise, the Empire State building can fit in here nearly four times.

On our way to another Disney park the next day, I was fortunate enough to go for a ride in a real 600hp Nascar. The Richard Petty Driving Experience was at a small three-cornered track just outside the park. It was a brilliant though short drive that took us up to 230kph down the main straight. But the impressive part was the speed in the corners, and the car had no body roll either. I didn’t catch the driver’s name, but I’m sure it must have been Billy Bob. After everything he said, he would add an “ohhh yyyeeeah” at the end with his Southern drawl of an accent.

Magic Kingdom is the part of Disney where all the original Walt Disney characters are seen. It also has the impressive Cinderella Castle as its focal point. The atmosphere and the sights are great, but there aren’t really any thrill rides for older people. We got to see the parade, where all the prominent Disney characters sing and dance their way through the streets.

In sum, it was an amazing trip and I was fortunate enough to have many once in a lifetime experiences along the way.